Horse LOLs

A jockey is talking to the trainer ahead of the race. You got to ride him to win, the trainer says, because I’ve got a monkey on this horse, and so has my wife. Will there be any room for me?, the jockey asks.


I found a way to make a horse stand perfectly still. Place a bet on him.




Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?

A: A mechanic


Q: You’re riding a horse full speed, there’s a giraffe right beside you, and a lion nipping at your heels. What do you do?

A: Get off the carousel and sober up.


His horse came in so late the jockey was wearing pajamas.


How did the instructor try to make horse riding enjoyable? He tried to stirrup some interest!


A cowboy buys a horse from the town pastor. The pastor explains, “to make the horse go, you gotta yell, ‘Thank God!’ And to make it stop, yell, ‘Hallelujah.’” The cowboy rides off. He rides all day and starts to nod off in the saddle when he notices he is about to ride straight over a cliff. Searching his memory, he yells to the horse, “Hallelujah! Hallelujah!” The horse grinds to a stop just at the edge of the cliff. The cowboy wipes the sweat off his forehead. ”Phew!” the cowboy sighs. “Thank God!”

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